Thoughts on birth, this time around

I've started thinking a lot about giving birth to this little baby inside of me. In only 5 months I will be a mom to 3. This is very hard for me to wrap my mind around. And really, I don't want any expectations of the newborn stage this time. I don't want to think it will be complete bliss, or the complete opposite. I just hope it's easier emotionally, more restful and easier on our marriage than with the twins :)

But I've been thinking a lot about the birth. With the boys I was with a midwife group through a hospital for the first half. When they found out it was twins at 20 weeks though, they kicked me out! I found a doctor, and she did an amazing job taking care of me and delivering my twins vaginally. But I still had an epidural, pitocin to speed up labor, and my water was artifically broken.

But there is something I have always wanted to experience. Natural birth. No epidural or IV pain meds. Which means I wouldn't want pitocin (unless absolutely necessary) because of the painful contractions it causes. I wouldn't want continuous monitoring, so I could walk around. Etc, etc. But natural birth has always scared me. It means pain. But also, depending on where you deliver, it could mean nurses talking about you behind your back, which I really didn't want. If I am going to try going natural, I want to be as supported as possible, while still feeling I am not risking the baby's safety at all.

I talked to my doctor about giving birth naturally, and she was open to it. But our conversation was very brief, and she said most of her patients choose the epidural. Which is fine, but I wanted someone who had lots of experience without the epidural, because I feel like the skills/knowledge needed by the provider is so different. I also wanted the nurses to be very supportive of the idea too.

So, even though I love my doctor, I started researching. I found a hospital with a midwife group that has great reviews. They allow ambulation during labor, intermittent monitoring, and are very natural birth friendly. Then I found out they do water births. Just the thought of laboring in water made a lot of my anxiety about the pain go away. This sounds like the perfect method of natural pain relief to me! I have mixed feelings about giving birth in water. But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea, as long as they monitor the baby's heartrate so I know he/she is not in any distress. I also like the idea of giving birth in a hospital, where all emergency equipment/personnel is right on hand, so I don't have to stress about that.

Yesterday I had a meet and greet with one of the midwives at the practice. She said basically everything I wanted her to say, so I decided to switch! I have a hard time making these kind of big decisions, especially when I am worried about hurting someone's feelings (my doctor's), so this was a huge deal to me! I am excited though. Thinking about a possible water birth/natural birth has made me more excited about this pregnancy. And due to all these changes, we will be doing the anatomy ultrasound almost a week earlier than before, only 6 days left. That is also very exciting :)

--
Little update on the boys: Matthew had a fever the last 2 days, and has been very lethargic and cuddly. In some ways it was nice for Mommy. He started getting better around noon yesterday, and he is back to his normal, crazy self today. I felt Adam wasn't 100% before, but no fever. He seems fine today too. It has been a crazy winter today for sickness for a lot of families, so I'm thankful it wasn't more serious.