Monday, August 5, 2013

Praying for Patience

Today was one of those days I felt like a failure as a mom. I am feeling overwhelmed, so I hope you will bear with me while I vent.

I feel like the boys lived in time out this morning (mostly for hitting each other and not listening to mommy) . I feel like I yelled at them too much and like I got too angry at them. I feel like I let Olivia cry too much while I was dealing with the boys. I feel like I didn't show enough love towards the boys.

In fact that's what makes me feel the worst: not showing enough love. Yes, they needed to go to time out for hitting each other, but I didn't need to get so upset about it. (I hate it when they hit each other, usually when fighting over a toy.) It makes the hurt brother scream, then hit back....and then they are both screaming. It is exhausting. No, twins do not always play together perfectly! It is hard for me, because I am often nursing Olivia, or desperately trying to do the housework that I can not catch up on!

Also I am tired. I am getting about 6 hours of sleep a night. I really shouldn't complain because it is uninterrupted sleep! I think I would do better with 8 hours, but Olivia often goes to sleep at 11:30pm, and the boys are in our room at 6am the next morning. Olivia eats around 6am, then she goes back to sleep until 9 or 10am. So her schedule is shifted about 3 hours to the right of the boys. I really need to get their schedules in sync so we get some down time! (Olivia is usually up for most of their nap time too.)

So I am tired, not getting many breaks and falling behind on the housework, and I feel like I took it out on the boys today in the form on my lack of patience.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. I am praying for a better attitude, less selfishness and more patience for when the boys wake up from their nap. Also I think I will feel better after I squeeze a shower in! Tomorrow will be a better day!

Oh also... Olivia is 2 months old today!! She is a complete sweetheart.