Day 2

We are on day two of no breastfeeding. I guess this means the boys are "weaned," but I hesitate to use that word in case I just cave and start breastfeeding again. Also my body hasn't completely gotten the message, so I still have a little milk. So maybe in another week or so I will actually say my boys are "weaned." :)

I am surprised by how sad I am that this chapter of parenting my twins is over. The boys were definitely ready to be done, they were only nursing once a day, right before bedtime, and those sessions were only a few minutes long before the boys got distracted and wanted down. They didn't even notice when I took away that last session, they were perfectly content with their sippy cups of milk and their bed time stories.

But I'm not sure Momma was quite so ready. It makes my heart ache thinking how they are not babies anymore, and they don't NEED me at quite the same level.

I told Alan I may just have to nurse them in the morning, and he just signed and rolled his eyes at me :)

Here are the boys and me at Fossil Rim yesterday... such big guys. (Adam on the left, Matthew on the right.)



Final Breastfeeding Count: 16 Months, 0 Days

Oh Yeah, This is Why I am Slow to Wean....

My kids aren't huge cuddlers. I mean, they love to be held (while walking around) and to be close to Mommy (while playing), but long term cuddling while reading or sitting in a chair? Doesn't happen, not even when they were newborns.

Except when they are nursing.

At 15 months, we are down to breastfeeding 3 times a day. While they nurse, they are so peaceful and content as they play with my hair, look in my eyes, play little games with me, etc. All while we are seated and not playing with toys (unless I count as the toy).

Before nap time they sometimes fall asleep while nursing. They cuddle and nurse while sleeping on the tandem nursing pillow I still use. It is pretty much Mommy heaven. However, as soon as I detach them, they immediately flip over the nursing pillow on to their tummies. Away from me. Still asleep, but apparently without use for Mommy anymore. No cuddling without nursing is apparently their rule (Imagine me all alone in the middle with no babies on the nursing pillow):

So, we are still nursing, and not sure when we will wean :)

Tandem Nursing

It's getting easier. Everything. Taking care of the babies without feeling overwhelmed, feeding the babies solids, nursing the babies at the same time.

I am at peace & enjoying tandem nursing. In fact, I actually prefer tandem nursing now to nursing just one baby at a time. Maybe it's because they are bigger & can latch themselves, maybe it's because I have finally figured out the perfect formula for success (two pillows behind my back, a blanket between the boys, and a fold-able chair where I place my laptop or book & that has the perfect support for my feet,), maybe it's because we are all so used to our little nursing spot in the nursery (the left half of the futon with a stand beside it where I place my food), or maybe it's because I feel so complete with both of my sons nursing so contently, touching my face, sticking their fingers in my mouth, and looking up at me with their tiny, bright hazel eyes.

Some of you may know, I had a very bad attitude about tandem nursing in the beginning. Now, I never wanted to nurse the boys' separately, I was already nursing 12 out of 24 hours in the beginning. But, I was bitter that I couldn't lie down and nurse, that I couldn't sit in the recliner and nurse, that I couldn't stand up while nursing. Well, I am OVER that. Tandem nursing is a huge blessing. It makes raising infant twins manageable. When they were tiny, I knew I at least had that weapon when all else failed, and it made both babies happen at once! It also became hands free pretty quickly.. around 2 or 3 months. I know tandem nursing saved my sanity, and I regret having a bad attitude about it. (Now, with triplets, it would be over!)

Above: Me with my Mother's Day breakfast Alan made me. I ate it as I tandem nursed.

Twin Breastfeeding Update

In case there are mothers with younger twins reading this... my boys are 7 months today, we are still tandem breastfeeding... and it gets WAYY easier. They are eating about every 4 hours, with solids right after.

Here is their schedule on a good day. (Not every day is exactly like this!!)

7am - Nurse

7:30am - Solids

8:00-9:30 Play

9:30-11: Nap

11am - Nurse

11:30am - Solids

12:00 -2:00pm - Play

2-3pm - Nap

3pm - Nurse

3:30pm - Solids

4pm-7pm - Play

7pm - Nurse/Bedtime

4:30am - Nurse/Back to Bed

7:00am - Wake up/Nurse

I think we have perfected the twin nursing pillow now. It is very comfortable with two pillows behind it it support my back. The boys legs are long and hang off the pillow, but they don't seem to mind. I love that I have both hands free. In fact, I am nursing at this moment ;) They are both asleep though, this is one day when their schedule was messed up. I think they got dehydrated at the park today (very warm), and they wanted to nurse at naptime.

Nursing covers have become very hard to use now, though. The boys' tiny hands are constantly pulling on it. So, most nursing occurs in the nursery, with trips out of the house in between.

Speaking of those tiny, innocent hands, they also like to scratch/poke the baby across from them while nursing. I think I could make some money designing some better twin-friendly gear. I LOVE the twin nursing pillow, but it needs at attachment for older babies to SEPARATE them. I use a stuffed animal at the moment, but of course the boys grab it & play with it while nursing, leaving their sweet faces exposed to their twin's nails. Yesterday Adam started screaming while nursing (and while I was trying to keep the stuffed animal between them). I looked down & saw this:

A huge scratch on Adam's forehead :( I am honestly not sure if Matthew scratched him, or if I did it while trying to keep the stuffed animal in between them. It is our worst nursing related injury though. Poor baby. He got over it quickly though.

I love breastfeeding my boys now. Now that they are older they will look at me & reach for my face while nursing. And, they know when I sit with the nursing pillow that they are about to get milk, and it is so cute how excited they get. I'm glad I stuck with it all of those nights I thought about giving up. (Bottles would be way way more difficult, in my opinion, besides all of the wonderful health benefits of nursing.)

And just for fun, here are a few more pictures of the boys' during their 6th month:
Matthew on left, Adam on right. They are so curious & explore everything with their hands.
Adam after I woke him up due to Daylight Savings, so his schedule wouldn't get too messed up. He looks soo sleepy & adorable.
One of the boys' first baths in the big boy tub. I love being able to bath them together now :)

And Matthew says, "Goodbye until next time." ;)

My 6 Week Postpartum Checkup Adventure

Matthew

Adam

Yes, adventure. That is how all trips outside the house have been like now that the twins are here.

(We also recently took a trip 5 hours away with the twins.. (we must be crazy) but I will blog/post pictures about that when I have more time)

First, I love my doctor, but a lot of other people must too because she is known for her long wait times. Like 1-2 hour waits. Regularly. Since my babies eat about every 2 hours, I panicked a little.. since as I mentioned in a previous post.. I've never tandem breastfed in public, and they usually wake up at the same time. (I may be able to do this as my boys grow, but we're not ready yet).

So my solution was to bring my precious expressed breastmilk and bottle feed one while I breastfed the other (precious because it takes me about 3 days to pump one bottle!) Both of my parents came with me. And both babies were awake almost the whole time we were at the doctor. So my mom fed Matthew a little over 2 ounces by bottle, and guess what? He was completely happy until his next feed. That was his first bottle feed that completely replaced a breastfeed. I breastfed Adam right after my appointment, and then pumped the other side in the car (so I didn't really lose 3 days of pumping after all).

I thought Matthew might miss being close to his mommy for one feed, but he didn't even care! The little stinker just wants his food after all ;)

Since both babies were happy, my parents & I were able to go out to eat while the babies slept. We had a nice time. Then by the time we got back, the babies were due to eat again. And the cycle started again :)

The checkup went great. It was nice seeing my doctor again, and she said everything looks great.
And since I haven't posted this yet, here are Adam & Matthew's one month weights:
Adam: 7 pounds 7 ounces
Matthew: 7 pounds 6.5 ounces.

I think now they are close to 8 pounds. They are getting so big! Almost 3 pounds heavier than when they were born, and it shows!! They are just getting more and more adorable though.

Breastfeeding Twins

The Beginning...
Almost the first thing our little babies did in this world was breastfeed. They latched on for about 30 minutes each. It was so adorable. Their little eyes were open and looking around. They were so tiny.. born 3 weeks early at just 5 pounds and 5 pounds 3 ounces. But you couldn't tell they were early or small by the way they latched on & ate to their hearts content. However, they did begin breathing fast & grunting shortly after they were born, so after they breastfed they were moved to the NICU for observation for about 8 hours. I missed them soo much, and I worried about how breastfeeding would go with this separation. Thankfully, I was able to breastfeed them once while they were in the NICU.. about 5 hours after they first fed. Our second attempt together was not as smooth as the first feed, mainly because they were not as awake. Eventually both babies ate for about 20 minutes. I was thankful for this, becuase I didn't want the NICU to have any excuse to keep them.


The First 48 Hours
At around 10am the morning after they were born, the babies had resolved their breating issues & graduated from the NICU to the newborn nursery, so they were able to room in with me. And wow, I was not prepared for the amount of work feeding two babies would be! In the hospital I fed the twins one at a time, while we all learned what we were doing. However, this took up nearly all of my time, and I went about 36 hours without sleep. The only way we actually did sleep a few hours was by telling the nurses not to let anyone in our room.. and sending the babies to the nursery for a couple hours until their next feed. I was so sleep deprived that I wasn't able to enjoy my new babies as much as I would have liked. That's when I decided I HAD to tandem breastfeed.

The First Month
The twins will be 4 weeks old tomorrow, and I'm happy to say breastfeeding is going much more smoothly than those first few days in the hospital! I wasn't able to tandem breastfeed more than once or twice in the hospital, but once we all got home I almost exclusively tandem fed. I learned to do it on my own by always using a couch or futon to breastfeed on. I place the twins beside me on the couch while I strap on my (huge, twin-size) nursing pillow. Then I place the babies on the pillow one at a time. Then I latch one, and then the other, both in the football hold. (The picture above shows the general position I use.) When they are both done, I burp them one at a time and then put them down on the couch. Then I change them & put them to sleep.

Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on all the more comfortable positions for breastfeeing... like side lying or the cradle hold. I do use these on occasion when only one is fussing, but the convenience of having both babies fed in the same amount of time as one far outweighs my desire to use any alternative positions.

I have been able to use a nursing cover, so I can nurse when company is around. (Yay.. for a while I just hid out in the nursery when anyone came over because it took me a few weeks to even feel comfortable enough to try the cover. I was about to go crazy from being so isolated from everyone.) I haven't actually nursed in public though. I am thinking it is going to be impossible to tandem feed in public, because of the need for the nursing pillow. That's not something that is exactly discreet in a restaurant or a mall. From everything I read from other twin moms, they either nurse them one at a time, or bring bottles for both, or have dad bottle feed one while one nurses.

The hardest part of nursing has been that I am responsible for all the feeds 24/7. I haven't missed one since they have been born, and it gets pretty tiring! I am working on pumping. I would LOVE to get a huge supply in the freezer, so that I could easily have someone else feed them as needed. However... I have had issues pumping much milk after they twins eat. I am working on it though.. I have 9 ounces in the freezer. I don't want to use any of it until I have enough for the first day I go back to work though. Which by the time I go back to work.. I am estimating I will need 24 ounces for the entire 12 hours for both babies. Yikes!!

Ultimately I do believe breastfeeding twins is the easiest (and healthiest) way to feed them. It beats giving them bottles separately.. and dealing with one crying while the other is eating!