Reflections

So last night, Alan and I did our whole bedtime routine with the boys, and I put Olivia to sleep. We pretty much thought we were done, and that it was time for some couple time. Then....

Adam poked his head out of his bedroom door.
Alan: "You need to lay down, Adam"
Adam: " I need to talk to Mommy."
Me: "What is it Adam?"
Adam: "I still need to love you."

(This is what he says when he wants to hug me/ cuddle with me.)

I gave him a nice long hug, and turned to get up...
Adam: "I still need to love you. Okay, Mommy?" (Arms out.)

(That is really hard to resist.)

Me: "Okay"

I gave him another hug, then started to leave. 

Matthew: "Mommy! I still need to love you."
Me: "Okay."
I gave him a cuddle, then started to get up.
Matthew: "No! I still need to love you."


I went ahead and laid down next to him, and held him. Adam moved his pillow closer and scooted closer to us, so I reached one hand out so I could hold his hand. At first I thought, "I need to get out of here, I have things to do!" Then I thought, "Why am I in such a hurry to leave? What else do I really need to do?" I decided to just relax and enjoy these cuddles. Nothing seems to make my two 3 year olds happier than when their Mommy loves on them. So I just enjoyed the perfect moment. 

Until...

Alan poked his head into the room.

Alan: "Krystal! Krystal! I need my apples!"

(Yes, I slice his apples for him. But he does do his own laundry, so that's a bonus right? ;)

Me: "I'm busy, Alan'."

(A few minutes later..)

Alan: "Krystal! I need my apples!)

(This actually happened a few times. But the kiddos really didn't want me to get up. Eventually Matthew fell asleep. )

Me: "Okay, okay!"

(I told Adam that Daddy was hungry so Mommy had to make him a snack...)

Then, before I could cut the apples, Olivia started crying..

So I picked her up, and immediately she calmed down and smiled at me. I nursed her back to sleep while rocking her. It was the sweetest moment. <3 p="">
Then, I got Alan's apples, and brought them to our room.

Alan: "Finally!"

(You kind of have to know Alan's sense of humor. He was half joking. But he really does like his sliced apples and his wife, free of kids, in the evenings :P) 

But seriously... we wives and mothers can't win!! No wonder we feel guilty that we aren't doing enough, there are so many things pulling at us. In addition to the 3 kids and the husband, there was also a dirty kitchen and laundry. (But I can ignore the latter two when needed.)

My other thought is, I can't believe that these three kids (And my husband too, but in a slightly different way!) rely on me so much, and love me so much. I mean, NOTHING makes my kids happier than a hug from Mommy. I sometimes wonder, "Do I deserve that kind of unconditional love?" (At this age at least, they are very forgiving.) It is truly a huge blessing and a huge responsibility to be that important to a tiny, developing, impressionable, fragile person. Sometimes it takes my breath away.

I pray for the patience and wisdom to do a good job.