Marriage

Alan and I are 3 months away from 5 years of marriage! It's hard to believe, but considering our twins are 2 1/2 and we have another on the way.... we definitely have the kids to back up the years :P



Our first two years were truly bliss. I am so glad we didn't get pregnant right away, because that time with just us was a wonderful foundation to have, especially when the challenges of raising twin newborns together arose.



Our wedding day was so so happy.

In Jamaica: Married about 5 months

On a beach in Italy: Married about 1 1/2 years. I almost don't like looking at our Italy pictures because I was so skinny!! Alan calls this version of me "Italy Krystal" mainly because it bothers me :P

 

Having two babies at one time was pretty hard on me and our relationship for a while. I feel we are stronger than ever now, of course I am also much nicer when I get sleep :P Here are the main things I learned that I feel have strengthened our relationship:

 

1. Men aren't robots, they have feelings too.

      -This one may sound silly, but after our boys were born I thought everything was about me because I was taking care of them full time. I didn't think about how my stress was affecting Alan, or how my expecting Alan to never have a break was not good for him or me. Sometimes we as women have to just be nice to our men, and it makes all the difference. Instead of nagging, which I was doing, and I always thought I would never nag!

 

2. Do NOT blame your husband for your stress or your kids' behavior.

    -I don't know how common this is, but I was wanting my husband to make everything easy after our boys were born, and if it wasn't easy, it was somehow his fault. This was so unhealthy for our relationship. As the kids get older, and we work on disciplining together, I think it's important we don't blame each other for how the kids behave, and instead work together to improve their behavior. But they are two year olds.... :P This is also why couple time is so important <3 em="">

 

3. Let go of bitter feelings. Don't be afraid to forgive and move on.

   - This one is so important. God definitely kept us together during our hard times when our boys were small. Alan was truly going way above and beyond what a "normal" singleton dad would ever be asked to do, and getting no credit for me. I was constantly asking for more, and actually harboring bitter feelings towards him that he didn't deserve, but that weren't going away. One day I listened to a sermon about forgiveness, and something just clicked. I had to forgive, let go of my bitterness, and love my husband like I always had before. Wow, such a huge turning point, it felt so good! And Alan responded immediately.

 

 

I have been thinking a lot about this lately, because Alan has been so awesome. He is great with the boys (especially now that they are so interactive!) He watches them almost every Sunday while I work. He is so loving towards me, no matter how I look or how the house looks when he gets home. He will take extra trips to the grocery store if I ask. When we both wake up at night he always reaches for me to hold me. I could not have asked for a better man, and am so glad I learned a few things, so I could be a better wife.

 



 



They can be pretty cute...

I have to write down some of the adorable things my boys have been doing lately:

Tonight as I was reading a bedtime book to them (The Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton), there was a page where a hippo was sitting at the beach snacking on grapes. Adam pretended to grab a grape, then "fed" it to me and said, "here you go!" Then Matthew did the same. I had about 4 or 5
"grapes" overall. :)

~~~

Both boys have to point out all hellicopters and airplanes that they see while we are driving. Especially Matthew. Sometimes they throw in trucks, and BIG trucks as well. When it's just me it goes like this... "MOMMY!"
"Yes?"
"Hopter!"
"Yes, that's a hellicopter"
"Hopter, yes, hopter"

When it is both me and Alan they say...
"GUYS!"
"Yes, Matthew?"
"BIG TRUCK!"
"Yes, that's a big truck"
"Yes, big truck, yes"

And so on until we reach our destination. They are equally excited about each airplane/hellicopter/truck/moon sighting that they see.

~~~

Adam loves to lay down, pull covers over himself and pretend he's asleep (he even snores. Matthew does this too). He also loves to lay under covers and cuddle with his Mommy... one of my personal favorite things :) I have been unconsciously sighing contentedly when he does this. Now when he cuddles with me he makes this high pitched noise, which is an imitation of the sigh that I do. I just melt!

~~~

The boys are very particular about items that are assigned to them. This is mostly color coded sippy cups/clothes/silverware/anything color coded, their high chairs and their car seats. They really don't have their own toys, that is easier to deal with by just having them take turns. (They always say, "turn??" and then (if all goes well), their brother says, "there you go!") However when it is something assigned to them, they are extremely particular.

I put Adam down in his high chair, but I had placed a blue fork there. (Matthew's color.) While Adam was still in their air over the high chair he was saying, "No, Matthew's! Matthew's!" The moment I sat him down, he grabbed the fork and put it on Matthew's tray, "Yes, Matthew's." I then gave him the green fork that was on Matthew's tray, and he was very content.

I accidentally put Matthew in Adam's car seat one night. (I never do this, but it was dark and I was talking to people.) I thought he was just not wanting to go in his car seat, he was being very uncooperative. But he kept saying, "No, mine! Mine!" And pointing at his car seat. Whoops... I immediately switched him and he was very happy.

If I give them the wrong color sippy cups, they will switch with each other.

At night after we turn off their lights, I can't tell which twin is which. Sometimes I ask them what their name is, because they are very unhappy if one of them ends up on the wrong side of the bed. Matthew is on the left, Adam on the right. It can not be any other way! If one of them tries to upset his brother, he will get on his brother's side... and that is where it is hard not being able to see which is which. (They wear striped pajamas every night... Little Keeper Sleepers that you can't get off without an adult.. They are different colors, but the colors are hard to see in the dark.)

When they both pee pee in their potties (deserving of one M&M each), I will often give both M&M's to one twin. He will diligently find and give his brother the second M&M, but always in his brother's designated color. Also when I try to reward one twin extra (for poo poo-ing in the potty), he always shares his big reward with his brother. Adam does this especially, running and saying, "Matthew! Treat! Here you go!"

(P.S. They have the most adorable high-pitched toddler voices, and I think I am going to cry when they go through puberty and get deep voices)

~~~

I am amazed at how similar their word and language development is. They almost literally know exactly the same number of words and phrases. They started using two word phrases at about the same time. Matthew has been a little ahead, but Adam quickly learns and catches up.

~~~

My brother asked Matthew if he was a baby and he replied (emphatically), "No!" and ran over to me, pointed to my belly and said, "Baby, yes, baby."

~~~

Adam was taking a nap at my brother & sister-in-law's house and woke up because he heard his baby cousin crying. He immediately came out of his room, found the baby and said, "Alright, baby?" and gave him a hug :) The baby immediately stopped crying.

Later as he was playing with his baby cousin (who has recently learned to crawl) he said, "Come, baby, come" while curling his fingers inward to indicate for the baby to come. It was very sweet.

~~~

They know the alphabet by sight, and also know the letter sounds thanks to starfall.com. They can also count to 10.

They are completely confused on color names though (which is strange to me, since they are so particular about colors.) Their default answer is, "Red!" when I ask them about an objects' color. Then they go with, "Pink!" I have no idea why they go with pink next, we hardly have had anything pink around until just 2 weeks ago when we found out we were having a girl.

Also, they can count to 10 just fine, but when I ask them to count how many object there are, they have interesting answers. If there are 3 objects, they were say "1, 2, 3... " (I am thinking, they are so smart! "4, 5, 6, 7!" (Wait, what??) They will count the objects, then start over and count them again, then sometimes they will count the first one again, so their final answer is more than double the actual amount. If there are two objects, they will sometimes say, "2, 3... two apples!" If there are lots and lots of something, they will often say "2, 2, 2, 2, 2..." as if it's too much to count individually, but there is definitely more than one. They both do these things, which may seem strange, but it is so normal to me. It will probably seem strange to me when Olivia gets here, and has different needs/develops at a different pace than everyone else.

~~~

And today, Alan was sitting in his recliner watching the Super Bown (which also happens to be the recliner Adam uses when I let them watch TV.) He said, "Mine!" Then took Alan by the hand, got him out of the chair, then hopped in himself and sat there very content, drinking his milk. This is a big deal, because that has been Alan's chair for years. :P (I am definitely not allowed to sit there.)

Happy Superbowl Sunday everyone!!

20 Weeks with Olivia Ruth

Yesterday I had my first appointment with one of the midwives we will be using this pregnancy. I absolutely loved her and her staff. There was no wait to see her (I have waited up to 2 hours at the doctor's office), the medical assistant called herself an MA instead of a nurse (I know that sounds silly, but it's one of my pet peeves because it is illegal, but it happens everywhere. So I was very impressed.), and she had had a water birth that she was willing to talk about and thought was amazing. 

Adam loves being held

 

I feel like I got big really fast. But I was measuring right at 20 weeks, and I was actually just one day shy of 21 weeks at the appointment. Olivia had a heartbeat of 132, and the midwife said she was moving around and kicking towards the doppler. The midwife did not rush at all, and talked to me a lot about the possibilities for the birth. They do delayed cord clamping, which I like. They also do immediate skin-to-skin. She talked about all the reasons someone may or may not be able to have a water birth (which my heart is not completely set on, but I would love to labor in the water at least!) I am really glad I switched, because I feel like we are on completely the same page on everything, including things that would be high risk and need a doctor or a change of plans.

20 Weeks - about to go to Ladies' Night!

We took a weekend trip down to Austin last weekend, and had a great time. Alan played a couple of church tournament basketball games (they won both, yay!), and we toured the state capital.

Matthew in blue, Adam in red. We are in the Senate Chamber.

 

We took our official 20 week belly picture at the Capital.

There was a beautiful, hilly, open area in front of the capital building. The boys ran and played until we had to finally leave to go back home. Great way to burn off energy before the 3 hour car ride. (They slept the entire way home)

Alan with his boys.



It's a GIRL!!!

Adam and Matthew will have a......


We are so excited!!!

The last few days have gone by soo incredibly slowly as I waited for the day of our ultrasound. Last night I  could hardly sleep because of all my excitement and nervousness. I was so worried they would find something wrong with the baby. Then of course I wanted a girl, but didn't want to want a girl too badly, because I didn't want to feel disappointment if it were a healthy baby boy. Basically all the unknowns were driving me crazy!

This morning the hours crawled by as I waited for my 2pm appointment. Finally I met Alan at the Sam's Club next to his work, and we drove to my appointment. I was so nervous as the tech called my name and I walked into the room. I really don't know where all this nervousness came from, maybe I thought it was too much to ask to get exactly what I wanted.. a healthy baby girl. The tech wasn't very talkative, but he slowly showed us the dhead, stomach, heart, umbilical blood flow, arms and legs. I was looking for any abnormalities, but didn't see any. Then he asked us if we wanted to know what it was. Of course I said "Yes!" I tried to see for myself, but I couldn't tell. The tech calmly said, "It's a girl." I said, "yay" and grabbed Alan's and, and we smiled at each other :)

Everything looked great with the baby. She measured exactly 19 weeks, which is what I am today. Heartbeat of 136. Weight; half a pound.

I asked the tech how certain he was that it was a girl. He said, "If it's a boy, it has the wrong parts."

As we were leaving, Alan looked so happy, proud and handsome. He wanted his little girl :)

Thoughts on birth, this time around

I've started thinking a lot about giving birth to this little baby inside of me. In only 5 months I will be a mom to 3. This is very hard for me to wrap my mind around. And really, I don't want any expectations of the newborn stage this time. I don't want to think it will be complete bliss, or the complete opposite. I just hope it's easier emotionally, more restful and easier on our marriage than with the twins :)

But I've been thinking a lot about the birth. With the boys I was with a midwife group through a hospital for the first half. When they found out it was twins at 20 weeks though, they kicked me out! I found a doctor, and she did an amazing job taking care of me and delivering my twins vaginally. But I still had an epidural, pitocin to speed up labor, and my water was artifically broken.

But there is something I have always wanted to experience. Natural birth. No epidural or IV pain meds. Which means I wouldn't want pitocin (unless absolutely necessary) because of the painful contractions it causes. I wouldn't want continuous monitoring, so I could walk around. Etc, etc. But natural birth has always scared me. It means pain. But also, depending on where you deliver, it could mean nurses talking about you behind your back, which I really didn't want. If I am going to try going natural, I want to be as supported as possible, while still feeling I am not risking the baby's safety at all.

I talked to my doctor about giving birth naturally, and she was open to it. But our conversation was very brief, and she said most of her patients choose the epidural. Which is fine, but I wanted someone who had lots of experience without the epidural, because I feel like the skills/knowledge needed by the provider is so different. I also wanted the nurses to be very supportive of the idea too.

So, even though I love my doctor, I started researching. I found a hospital with a midwife group that has great reviews. They allow ambulation during labor, intermittent monitoring, and are very natural birth friendly. Then I found out they do water births. Just the thought of laboring in water made a lot of my anxiety about the pain go away. This sounds like the perfect method of natural pain relief to me! I have mixed feelings about giving birth in water. But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea, as long as they monitor the baby's heartrate so I know he/she is not in any distress. I also like the idea of giving birth in a hospital, where all emergency equipment/personnel is right on hand, so I don't have to stress about that.

Yesterday I had a meet and greet with one of the midwives at the practice. She said basically everything I wanted her to say, so I decided to switch! I have a hard time making these kind of big decisions, especially when I am worried about hurting someone's feelings (my doctor's), so this was a huge deal to me! I am excited though. Thinking about a possible water birth/natural birth has made me more excited about this pregnancy. And due to all these changes, we will be doing the anatomy ultrasound almost a week earlier than before, only 6 days left. That is also very exciting :)

--
Little update on the boys: Matthew had a fever the last 2 days, and has been very lethargic and cuddly. In some ways it was nice for Mommy. He started getting better around noon yesterday, and he is back to his normal, crazy self today. I felt Adam wasn't 100% before, but no fever. He seems fine today too. It has been a crazy winter today for sickness for a lot of families, so I'm thankful it wasn't more serious.

Snow Day! 12-25-12

Stinker #1 (Matthew)

Stinker #1 (Adam)

I was actually at work for the boys second experience with snow ever. The first was when they were 5 months old. Alan did a great job getting the boys out in it though!

Daddy with his boys

Since it has been in the 80's recently, Alan had to dig out all the winter gear. He couldn't find gloves, so the boys used socks for gloves.

The next morning (after I spent the night at the hospital to avoid the icy roads), I got out with the boys, and we built a tiny snowman with the snow that hadn't melted yet. (They decided to take off their gloves towards the end). It was so so cold outside!!

And for comparison.. here is the boys first and only snow day before this one. 5 months old. 2-5-11.

Pregnancy Update

I haven't written much about my pregnancy with #3 yet. Half the time I forget that I am pregnant, since Adam & Matthew keep me so busy! I feel like this third baby will just be added to the mix, and hopefully that will be a positive thing. I am hoping I will be more laid back and able to enjoy babyhood. I am so looking forward to nursing one baby at a time. Of course I am also nervous about adding a baby to a sometimes already crazy house!

 

This pregnancy has been harder than my first. Probably because I am chasing the twin tornadoes around. I was extrememly tired the first 14 weeks. But I used it as an excuse to take it easy and snuggle with my boys. The house got messy, and we went out to eat more, but we survived :) I remember being lazy during my twin pregnancy, but somehow the house wasn't quite as messy. I was a little more nauseous with this one during the first trimester, and much more picky about what I ate. VERY picky. Only one thing at a time really sounded good to me, and often it was different for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My nausea started getting a lot better around 12 weeks, and my energy returned around 14-15 weeks (finally). I also had stressful issues I didn't have last time. I spotted quite a bit during weeks 5-8. I was sure I was going to miscarry, but the baby hung on. Then later I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid (of course my mind goes to worst case), but that was a false alarm.

4 Weeks - Still "showing" some from the twins :P
On the balcony overlooking the Smokey Mountains in Gatlinburg, TN where we found out.

I felt the baby move for the first time at 14 weeks. I know it was the baby, and felt it off and on for the the next few weeks. I am 17 weeks now, and I feel the baby move pretty often. It is so neat :) I can't wait until baby gets a little stronger, and we can start seeing the kicks and feeling them from the outside. We find out the gender in a little over 2 weeks, and we are both so so excited to find out. I think most people know I would love a girl, but we are also okay with a houseful of boys. We are done after this one, so this little one will complete our family, no matter what the gender. 

16 Weeks - Tiny Bump!

 

Adam & Matthew love babies. Everything small or tiny is a baby. A tiny blueberry.. "Baby!" Tiny grape.. "baby!." Tiny ball of playdough.."Baby!". And always with a squeaky, high pitched voice. Then the normal size fruits/objects become "Momma". They know where Mommy is growing their little brother and sister, and I think they understand that baby will move into the nursery across from their room. I showed them a video of a 15-20 week baby developing in utero, and Adam understood right away. He pointed to the video, then my belly, while repeating "Baby, baby." Matthew sort of got it, but he also pointed to his own belly as well and said, "baby" :P

 

Alan's nickname for the baby is "Little Feti" but thankfully he hasn't nicknamed by belly (yet).

16 Weeks